I was walking through campus last week, glancing at the people gathered in their front yards blaring music and crowding around tables cluttered with red solo cups. It was about 8pm on a warm spring night. “What a typical campus scene,” I thought to myself, “I wonder what life is like being a part of that crowd–going out on the weekends, hosting rambunctious parties, tailgating before football games, having a bunch of friends, always up for a party…” In the midst of trying to envision myself in that lifestyle, a piece of a conversation I had had with someone earlier that day interrupted: LIFE IS MORE. Everything on my bucket list flashed before my eyes.
This lifestyle works for people, and that’s great. But for me, it would just never be enough. I refuse to believe that’s all I’m here for. Maybe I’m too picky, maybe I’m missing something–this is clearly a popular pastime, I thought to myself. I mean, I enjoy a good party every once in a while, but I couldn’t do this every weekend…maybe I am crazy?? Well, that one is obvious…haha! I was reminded that I don’t just want to fill my life with place holders–be that people or activities. I want to live with intention. I want to experience life, not numb it. Parties are great, and having fun is a big part of life, but it’s also messy and uncomfortable.
Life is more than desensitizing yourself. It’s more than getting drunk or high and not remembering the night before. It’s so much more than “hooking up” or worrying about finding your “other half.” Because truth is, you’re not a half, you are a whole, and life is yours to get the most out of it. Life is the small things, like smelling the trees blooming in spring, but it’s also that adrenaline rush you get from jumping out of a plane with a parachute strapped to your back. Life is balling your eyes out over a broken heart, but also laughing your ass off with your best friends. Life is joy and life is pain. It’s up to you what you do about it, how you transcend the cards you’ve been dealt, using the lessons to better yourself, finding your reason.
My eyes are open,Colony House, “Moving Forward”
My heart is beating,
My lungs are full,
And my body’s breathing.
I’m moving forward.
I found my freedom.
I found the life that gave me reason to live.
Life continues to amaze me, throwing curve balls I never would have expected. Some have been painful, other’s excitingly awesome. There’s new opportunities every day. We’re only here for such a short time, but can learn and grow so much.
you are still here.
The human heart beats
approximately 4,000 times per hour
and each pulse,
each palpitation is a trophy,
engraved with the words
“You are still alive.”
You are still alive.
So act like it.”